New Year, New Me?
The upcoming year doesn’t just bring in an array of possibilities, opportunities and expectations, it also preludes the pressure to become a more nuanced and better version of ourselves. Creating new year resolutions is a thing of the past, the new global trend now levies the burden of becoming a somehow ‘more perfected’ version of who you are, moving away from who you were a year ago. Coming across posts, articles, banners etc. motivating and encouraging you to become this ‘New You’ in the coming year, is a common occurrence on the last few days of the year. I mean we are all privy to something akin to those gym membership discounts, or some scheme or the other to ‘healthify’. These more often than not, leave us with a sense of chagrin and dissatisfaction with ourselves for not having thought of it or worked towards it. Often the impending doom has to change or in some form grow.
‘Expectation’- A word that seems fairly simple, but whose implication has the power to create ripples in the calmest of seas. Oftentimes we hear people say, “You have set way high expectations for yourself” or “expectations are the root cause of most disappointments.” Ever wondered what makes it so? Well, to put it into very simple words, a person who has failed to meet certain expectations would perceive it as a failure to meet certain set goals. A deeper perspective however elucidates expectations as nothing but standards and parameters one is expected to meet up to based on a perceived perception of our abilities. These perceived perceptions may or may not be realistic in terms of the person’s existing potential or may even have an additional element of how we want the said person to be. This more often than not pushes people to meet an idealistic standard, which is a hoax. This idea of idealism is something that can be aspired for but also needs to be understood as an idea that doesn’t exist. A lack of such understanding gives rise to a process of constant strife in an individual propagating constant dejection and gloom. The pursuit of such perfection and idealism impedes a person’s understanding of growth.
The pressure to match up to these expectations, both internal and external, often makes us push ourselves beyond our limits and further perpetuates a critical analysis of the past year. We end up scrounging for tasks and areas that could have been performed better, goals that could have been set and unmet ideals. This process, in turn, develops a very reproving perspective for the actions of the past year and takes away joys and accomplishments from our achievements. It also imposes ‘performance pressure’ and a need to overcome all these shortcomings in the upcoming year and perform our best; leaving almost no allowances for imperfections or improvements. Where the New Year should be about curiosity, enthusiasm and anticipation, it inadvertently brings in a sense of dread and duress. This curbs all possibilities of innovation and creativity which one may look forward to in the New Year. Striving towards self-growth and improvement is not an unhealthy mindset, however, exhausting ourselves to the point of perfection, to conform to a global trend sets high expectations, which if not achieved, elicit a sense of incapability and dejection, can. The journey of self-growth is a gradual and long process, one that does not necessarily have a set time limit. An essential aspect of this journey also entails reflecting on one’s actions to move towards enhancing one’s way of being rather than evaluating these actions to a set parameter of expectations. This self-reflection is often severely pandered when the intention is to be a whole different version of ourselves.
Now, of course, this is not to say that the new year may not be a good time to start things you have perhaps been sitting on or setting a benchmark for yourself. By working towards attaining that benchmark in a more cognizant manner, we do not necessarily need to exert ourselves or burnout, a practice that is infinitely more fulfilling and rewarding. Rather than setting up precursors for being a ‘New Me’, we can look back on our past year through a lens of growth and new learning. This considerably lessens the need to create a newer, more perfect version of ourselves in the following year. It can create a sense of accomplishment and gratitude, which we can carry with us while entering the New Year, embracing new opportunities and possibilities with an open mind and heart rather than confining our experiences within pre-set standards for accomplishments. Set those goals, but validate yourself, explore and be mindful.