I think it’s time we had THE talk.
Words you will seldom hear in an Indian household.
But we really need to talk-you and I.
“Don’t castrate, but educate,
At least to masturbate!”– Himmilicious
Learning about the birds and the bees is undeniably a daunting yet important task. However, providing comprehensive, pleasure positive sex education that is not driven by fear, in a sensitive and inclusive manner can help demystify this subject for young people.
In India, talking about sex, pleasure or intimacy can sometimes feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. It’s possible parents would choose a casual walk on said minefield than talk about sex with their children. Let’s take a step back and try to unpack the ignorance and shame that surrounds intimacy.
“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
— Mark Twain
It is crucial to understand that sex education isn’t just about the act of sex in itself; it’s about empowering individuals with knowledge and understanding to make informed choices about their bodies, health, pleasure and intimate relationships. It should explore values and beliefs about these topics and help people gain the skills that are needed to navigate relationships with themselves, their partners, and the community, as well as manage one’s own sexual and reproductive health. In India, sex has been a taboo topic for generations. Conversations about it are often hushed, if they happen at all yet we are 141.72 crores in population. Avoiding discussions about sex does not make it disappear.
Most people are naturally curious about their bodies and sexuality. Without proper guidance, they may turn to unreliable sources like peers or the internet for information, which can be inaccurate or misleading and very often is either fear driven or doesn’t account for different templates of safety. For instance, it is rare to talk about consent during sex ed, beyond the performative ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Here, pleasure positive sex education comes into play as it empowers young people with accurate, inclusive information, helping them make responsible decisions about their sexual health and relationships. It aims to break the taboos by encouraging open, honest conversations about topics like puberty, reproduction, contraception, consent, and above all – pleasure.
“You can’t catch Chlamydia from the air!”— Otis (Sex Education, 2019 Drama)
A 2019 study found that only 21% of Indian adolescents between 15-19 years old had comprehensive knowledge about HIV. Another survey revealed that 40% of women did not know that pregnancy could occur after having unprotected sex. These numbers underscore how a lack of basic information regarding sexual and reproductive health is widespread across the country. A critical aspect of sex education is of course teaching individuals about sexual health and hygiene, but in a way that doesn’t laud chastity and abstinence.
Understanding how infections like HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are transmitted and prevented can save lives. With proper education, individuals are more likely to practise safe sex, use contraception effectively, and seek medical help when needed.
Let’s talk about sex, baby!
Let’s talk about you and me
— Salt n Pepa (1990 Song from album, Black’s Magic)
Comprehensive sex education plays a vital role in shaping the attitudes and behaviours of individuals as they navigate relationships, intimacy, and sexuality during their lives. But a healthy sexuality is not merely about preventing negative outcomes – it’s about celebrating intimacy, bodily autonomy, and mutual pleasure within the context of consent. An obtrusive consequence of insufficient sex education in India is the dearth of knowledge and open dialogue around sexual pleasure, even within marriages. Many couples enter wedlock having received little to no instruction about the intricacies of sexual anatomy, arousal, intimacy, and having mutually satisfying experiences in the bedroom. Lack of sex and pleasure positive education translates into unfulfilling sex lives for far too many married couples. Normalised conversations through comprehensive sex ed have the power to break these regressive attitudes. Ultimately, prioritising sex ed lays the crucial groundwork for fostering a generation that values sexual health and treats sexual relationships with the gravity and care they deserve.
“There’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s a lot wrong with the world you live in.”— Chris Colfer
India is a land of rich cultural heritage, with its history and traditions deeply rooted in diversity. Our culture is a vibrant tapestry with one of the most fascinating aspects of this richness being the nuanced understanding of sexuality, including homosexuality, in historical contexts. Indian history is replete with stories that encompass a broad spectrum of sexual orientations and identities, yet we stigmatise non-heteronormative sexualities. To tackle this we need pleasure-positive sex education to embrace our diversity and chart a course for a more inclusive future.
The normalisation and validation of diverse experiences and expressions allows one to develop self-esteem, self-acceptance, and overall improved mental health outcomes. This open-minded approach to sex education is key to building an Indian society grounded in bodily integrity, equality, and freedom from regressive prejudice that impedes psychological growth.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”— Robert Frost
Inaction on this critical issue is unacceptable. Indian leaders, educators, parents, and youth themselves must join forces to bring comprehensive pleasure positive sex education into classrooms, communities, and homes nationwide. The path to progress relies on empowering people with truthful knowledge about their bodies and sexual health from a young age. The time is now to have these important conversations openly and responsibly.